Just escaped from a weird nightmare. Must have been my punishment for breaking the old ‘no pizza before bed’ rule, or maybe I’m just going through a non-funky phase, as I pretty much consistently do whenever I take a few days off of breaking to try to let my body recover.

I was dreaming that Solid State was reworking their newest show to tour it [they are], and that I was in it [I am], but first we were going to perform the show at a theater in someone’s basement on my street. I had shown up before everyone else to warm-up, but I was the only one there and I was early, so I left, and then couldn’t find my way back.

The show was about to start, and I think that there were some new changes that we needed to try for the first time, and somehow this basement theater was actually a pretty big theater.

Dad called me on my cell phone, telling me that he wanted to come, but I was annoyed that he had called after the show was supposed to have already started, so I told him that I would try to call him back, but that I probably wouldn’t have time. I tried to call Helen, but I couldn’t figure out how to use my cell phone. Maybe I had the showtime wrong, and there would still be time. Or maybe the show would start a little later for me. Fueled by hope, I ran up and down the street [it wasn’t my street anymore] looking for the theater, while trying to use my phone. I saw someone that I knew, but I ignored her, because I didn’t want to spend a second talking to anyone about anything that wouldn’t get me to this show. I saw someone else that looked vaguely familiar, and I asked her to call Helen for me. I read out Helen’s number to her, but when she handed me back my phone a few seconds later, she had only entered 4 or 5 digits, including an attempt at the ‘514’ area code, but she told me that Helen had called twice. My fear was driving me crazy by this point, and I even found myself surprised, not even so much by how irresponsible I had been, but at how awful I was actually feeling.

I tried to call Helen back without having time to  listen to her message(s?), but somehow I now knew that they would start the show without me (I even somehow had Helen’s voice in my head telling me this). I ran past a rabbi on the street who asked me to take a moment to celebrate the Jewish New Year of Shavuot [which isn’t actually the Jewish New Year], and I told the rabbi that I didn’t have time, as I frantically touched the torah that he cradled in his arms. “Properly!” the rabbi boomed, so I touched the torah with the most holy thing that I had (probably my cell phone), and then I kissed my cell phone[?]. “You won’t be needing this where you’re going,” the rabbi said to me, and started to take my cell phone away from me. “I’m not going to synagogue!” I yelled at the rabbi, grabbing back my cell phone, and fighting with every fiber of my being against my urge to start swearing at this guy for wasting my time.

I found a tv monitor showing Solid State performing. I knew that this was live, so the show had already started (or maybe it was ending), and they were performing something that I had never seen them do before.  Maybe this was the new material, or maybe they were making this up because I wasn’t there to do my part. Helen & Jen were wearing clown costumes (like in Dancing Doll), and JoDee was there, but Jo was missing, too. All of these realizations happened in a split second, and I pointed to the screen, asking a passing stranger, “How do I get in that theater?”

They pointed out a corridor that I somehow hadn’t seen before, and I ran down it, running through a maze of corridors, the floors and walls hard tile like a theme-park. The show is getting closer and closer to the end, and I know that I have already wrecked this show, and maybe I should have accepted this fact, and experienced what it would have been like to have gone to synagogue, but I continue running, almost breaking into tears, and I find a metal door which I think leads to the stage, but there’s no door handle from the outside; no way in, and I bang on it hard in frustration, but the show is going on, and nobody will hear me, or maybe my efforts will disturb this show even more, and running down a corridor I see that above the side wall is another floor, and I climb the wall in a rush of adrenaline, and as I climb over the railing at the top, I see a man sitting patiently, writing into a notebook. I ask him how to get into the theater. He says nothing, but tosses me his notebook and his pen, the pen falls, but I now I have the notebook, and I open it, and…

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